Little House-Amanda Seyfried
This song makes me cry every time I hear it, ever since eighth grade graduation or promotion or whatever.
So I guess since this kind of connects, this can be my long, annoying post about the seniors graduating this year. I feel weird about it. I cried all day, especially when I got home from school and just laid in my bed bawling my eyes out for over an hour. Because the people leaving are some of my best friends. My role models. The best advice-givers. My lunch table. My prom date. The ones I can always count on to make me feel better. The most talented kids I know. People who accepted me without question at the beginning of the year.
People who literally and legitimately changed my life aren’t going to be a couple classrooms away anymore, and that’s the sad part. That, and the fact that although we still have the summer, they’re all inevitably going to go to college, and they won’t even be just a few miles away anymore. Sometimes I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to make it through next year without them.
Then there’s this whole part about me becoming an upperclassman. And that’s scary to me, because I feel like I should have three years left since I wasted last year, but…I don’t. And I’m feeling like I have to step up and become some person who I don’t think I’m ready to be. I’m not a role model or a mentor or a director or a teacher or a leader…I’m a kid. Maybe the seniors leaving will force me to grow up a bit, but in complete honesty, I really don’t want to grow up. Because the older I get, the closer I get to graduating and leaving my school and friends and home behind, and there is nothing sadder or more terrifying to me than the thought of that.
i love this photo. i don’t recall ever painting in my cousin’s backyard, but i do know that everything was a lot simpler back then.
maybe we’re getting punk’d
mAYBE WE’LL GET TO MEET ASHTON
its so hard to care this late in the school year
Great Gatsby
it’s weird that my handwriting is on all these blogs, it’s just weird ok
(Source: ilustro)
I made this really weird discovery today.
I always talk about self-expression, and how everyone should get to be themselves and be able to express themselves in any way they want to whenever they want to. But today I realized that I try to be other people. I try to impress them in little ways, and I try to become them and take on their personalities and interests and opinions. It’s this little tactic I feel that I must use to make friends, and there are few people who I am comfortable enough around that I can be my complete self…except I’m starting to lose track of who “myself” is, anymore, unfortunately. But today, while thinking, I drew up a pretty good idea of who I am…maybe. My goal now is to put that person into action. Stand up for what I believe in, not what I want others to think I do. Say what I want to say, not what I think others want to hear. Tell the truth about my past and my plans for the future. Be outgoing to the point of rude or sweet to the point of annoying when I feel like it, not when others do. I’m not going to try to meet anyone’s standards but my own, anymore. I am me, and no one can change that, not even myself.
There isn’t much I know about the world
You walk through this tunnel, going through hell after hell—this place, it’s dark, and loud, and violent—but somehow, that’s okay, because all you have to do is keep walking. No one asks you to hold back the tears, no one tells you to ignore the pain, no on even tells you that you need to suffer get through it—the only thing you have to do in this world is keep on walking.
I love this movie a lot.
